The Leadership Programme Newsletter.

If you want to be a better leader you’re in the right place, welcome!

This newsletter is delivered every Friday and is a minestrone soup of tips, techniques, learnings and thoughts, & the odd disaster, based on my 25+ years of managing teams.

Read time: 4.17492738. minutes

Firstly, I HAD TO SHARE because I’m so excited. In February, I’m launching a Masterclass that will skyrocket your communication skills. As subscribers, you’ll be the first to know when earlybird access with a heavily discounted price, is live. Learn how to:

💎 mind-read & know if someone’s lying

💎 build stronger bridges with clients & colleagues

💎 create more impact and increase your credibility

💎 understand your team members better, build trust quicker

Amongst a whole host of other things. I know the difference these skills can make, so keep your eyes peeled! 👀

Let’s dive in.

Checking your email 2043 times a day?

Seriously, some people do. It’s been estimated that on AVERAGE we check our phones 2600 times per day.

That’s a huge number.

Note. This is not normal or desirable :

• Repeatedly checking your phone

• You can’t disconnect from work.

• You don’t make time for relationships

• Work interferes with your life

• ‘Emotional’ eating

• You don’t make time for sleep

Sound familiar?

You may be suffering from ‘modern-day ‘burnout, or stress.

You can also get burnout as a parent.

“Burnout is a long-term stress reaction marked by emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation, and a lack of sense of personal accomplishment”.

(Burn-out is included in the 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as an occupational phenomenon, rather than a medical condition)

Stress symptoms

The physical impacts of stress are real, and include:

• ulcers

• anxiety

• fatigue

• not eating

• palpitations

• mood swings

• sleeplessness

• ‘emotional’ eating

• skin conditions, such as spots

How do you know if you’re suffering from stress?

Here’s the sneaky thing about stress. It doesn’t necessarily show up at the time. There’s often a delay.

You ‘cope‘ to get through the situation, hold up the floodgates for a while, then suddenly the dam bursts open. It all floods out

A relative recently went through cancer treatment. They got through it brilliantly. We all commented on how well they were doing: “How strong they were.” Treatment over, it all pours out. Delayed shock, even PTSD. And this is normal.

Stress affects everyone differently. How often do you hear, or think yourself:

“Stress doesn’t happen to me…”

“It’s a sign of weakness”

There were times (waaaaaay back in my youth) I thought that.

But, your body tells you; we all have a ‘tell’. What Dr Aditi Nerurkar calls, our

‘canary in the coal mine’.

Stress can happen to you.

I worked for a boss with those ‘toxic management behaviours’ you hear about.

I have mild asthma, but suddenly noticed I was using my inhaler. I’d rarely use it normally. Then I noticed my skin: small patches of psoriasis. All over. It never has that.

Then it started to get bad. And I got prescriptions for both.

I was unhappy at work, but I was dealing with it. Right? I was coping, because I’m …..resilient.

This seems to have become a weaponised word that reflects hustle culture: Keep going no matter what.

Being resilient is more complex than simply “toughening up” or “staying calm under stress” with coping strategies.

It was only at another asthma clinic appointment that the nurse challenged me. ”This isn’t normal for you. What’s going on? How is work?”

I started to cry. It dawned on me how awful the previous 9 months had been.

Doctor: “This is your health Lesley. I’m signing you off work now.”

There are two types of stress.

Acute : the one that’s a response to the ups and downs of life. We can adapt and move through these phases more easily.

Chronic : this is the damaging type. When we are under chronic stress, how our brain functions, changes.

We move from using the pre-frontal cortex, the rational bit of your brain, the logical planning and organisation bit, to the amygdala. This is the area that deals with fight or flight.

Stress, quite literally, puts you in survival mode.

When you’re living in the amygdala part of your brain, saying ‘figure it out’ doesn’t help. At all.

You can’t think 5 steps ahead. It’s not possible.

To get yourself out of this, you can build up your ‘healthy resilience’ and make changes.

Do that by making small changes, that take you towards the goal that you want.

Resilience ‘rule of two’.

To make a change towards our goal, we need to make no more than two small changes at a time.

Any more and it’s too overwhelming; we won’t accomplish anything.

This even applies to positive change.

( After Nerurkar, based on Hulmes and Rahe stress scale here )

Make two small changes at a time, and let them become a habit.

When they have become a habit, introduce two more.

Take small incremental steps at a time.

Please don’t hesitate to forward this, to help others learn.

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Action for the week!

Want to have a practice? Look at your feelings and experiences.

Be brutally honest with yourself. Are you under stress?

• Identify what your overall goal is.

• What do you really want?

• What two steps can you take to take you towards this goal.

Extra resources

Additional resources you may want to check out.

If you’re interested in more on strategies for dealing with stress, this is the book that details the Rule of Two, and working through it.

Here’s an Amazon ( affiliate) link so you can see what it's like, but I’d prefer it if you ordered from your local bookshop. May not be as quick, but a better soul-feeding activity.

Music to get you ready for the weekend!

A mega playlist of supersonic tracks, to get you in the mood for the weekend.

Lovely new, poptastic, happy, music. Enjoy. ( Parental advisory - you may need to cover your eyes at various places!)

Other ways I can help:

1. 1:1 coaching to help you develop the leadership skills you need to take your career to the next level. Let’s have a chat. Calendly link here.
   

2. Micro-coaching : a single coaching session to help you overcome that one blocker or key issue you're facing. Details in the link here.
   

3. FREE RESOURCES Interview Mastery training: to master confidence at that BIG event. It could be an interview, public speaking, or that pitch. Make sure that the very best version of you shows up to that interview. Link here.