The Leadership Programme.

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Delivered every Friday and is a minestrone soup of tips, techniques, learnings and thoughts, & the odd disaster, based on my 25+ years of managing teams.

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Ever find yourself thinking about work on holiday?

I have. 😬

I remember one holiday when the kids were little, sitting by the pool watching them play, but tuning out because I was thinking about a report I needed to write when I got back.

Yes, I’ve also tried to write sneaky emails by nipping in to the bathroom with my phone, knowing my husband would tell me off for working if he saw me.

When was the last time you really, truly, didn’t think about work when you weren’t at work?
If the Prime Minister can switch off, why can’t you?

What’s behind that behaviour do you think?

“All kinds of reasons” , is the answer.

The symptoms:

If you have difficulty switching off, you’re not alone.
Research suggests that less that 50 % of workers, can switch off.

What do I mean by ‘not switch off’:

• You constantly think over problems or potential solutions.

• It stops you from being present and enjoying the moment ( like my example, with the pool).

• You can’t detach from work: it can whirr around in your head at night, and stop you sleeping.

• Your brain is full of a million tasks you need to do, which means you’re not paying attention to where you are now

Why do we do it?

There’s lots of reasons, here’s the main ones I’ve come across:

Pressure to conform, in certain environments.

Hustle culture, you could call it.

“If you don’t put in the hours you don’t deserve success/promotion/pay raise, because I had to do it, and so should you”

Even the Prime Minister, has been criticised for saying that he stops at 6.00 pm for family time.

(See the news link here)

Failure to set boundaries

This applied to me. I didn’t know I could set boundaries, and I didn’t know how.
I did what I thought everyone else did.
I also wanted approval.

I was brought up with a solid work ethic and that said ‘work hard’.
Hard work, then translated into ‘take more on’.

Fear of failure

You hold on to the belief that if you’re not working your hardest, there is a risk you might fail.

Working hard then entails working longer hours, and results in guilt when you’re not working.

Failure to delegate

You don’t delegate, so you take on more work.
This results in longer work hours.

Imposter syndrome

I also felt this.

“I’m not worthy’, so I need to prove myself by doing more, working longer, being better.

The need to feel connected

It’s been estimated that on AVERAGE we check our phones 2600 times per day.

A modern-day stress, is ‘popcorn brain’ (yes its a real thing). It refers to our constant need to be on line: checking email, checking socials.

Being connected, and FOMO if you’re not.

Linking your job to your identity

When you tie your job to your identity and self-worth, it makes it hard to separate personal worth from professional achievements.

This causes you to neglect your personal life & overcommit at work; and leads to an unhealthy work - life balance.

How do you tackle it?

Here’s some of the techniques I’ve used with clients (and myself), that have had great results:

1. technology - switch it off.

Do it one step at a time.
Have a switch-off time.
Keep your phone / laptop out of sight.

I have ‘notifications off’, with the exception of my children ringing ( let’s face it, they only ring when they need something! 😂).

2. Delegation & trust

Learn to delegate, effectively.

This also requires understanding what’s stopping you from delegating in the first place.
Learn to trust the team you delegate to.

Put contingency plans in place.

3. Learn to set boundaries

Set clear work boundaries. This may take practice, and definitely requires you to say ‘no’ more.

Set specific family / personal time. I have friends who ‘time block’ in their calendars, just as they do with work activities.
I block out personal time in my calendar when I need it. I don’t check emails or messages.

4. Learn relaxation techniques

Such as meditation. or mindfulness. I’ve also found journaling has helped me disconnect from work when I need to, gain clarity, and helps me set goals.

5. Learn to ‘be present’

This was one of the biggest game changers for me. I didn’t realise I want being present, until I learned what it was.

I’ve done a quick 3 minute video on a technique you can use (it also stops you overthinking).

Watch it here:

I’ve helped clients with all of these techniques, to get great results. Let me know how you get on.

Please don’t hesitate to forward this, to help others learn.

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Action for the week!

Want to have a practice?
Questions:

How easy do you find it to switch off from work?

What do you feel may be the underlying reasons

What small step can you take, today, that will help you?

Extra resources

Additional resources you may want to check out.

a couple of interesting articles Ive read recently on the subject:

“Workers can’t switch off” here and

“Guide to switching off” here

Music to get you ready for the weekend!

A mega playlist of supersonic tracks, to get you in the mood for the weekend,

We’re in a bit of a celebratory mood in our house, so let’s go for it. Classic disco! 🕺

Other ways I can help:

1. 1:1 coaching to boost your career: remove limiting beliefs that are holding you back; develop your leadership skills; prevent stress in your role; control your job, so it doesn’t control you. Let’s have a chat, link here.
   

2. Confidence ever need a boost? My Confidence Build mini masterclass may be exactly what you need. Simple, actionable techniques that have an instant impact. Get more details here.