The Leadership Programme Newsletter.

If you want to be a better leader you’re in the right place, welcome!

This newsletter is delivered every Friday and is a minestrone soup of tips, techniques, learnings and thoughts, & the odd disaster, based on my 25+ years of managing teams.

Read time: 4.57893 minutes

We’re so bad at admitting we’re wrong!

Ever had that disagreement with someone who is just plain WRONG, and won’t listen to reason and facts?

As Nobel prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman points out: Even when direct facts contradict our beliefs, we don't let the facts get in the way!

Because, we don’t want to be wrong. 😂

We hate admitting we’re wrong, don’t you?

It clouds our judgment and fudges our decisions.

This makes it difficult to acknowledge we’ve made a bad decision.

Defensiveness kicks in. The feeling that you know you’re right, and may feel personally attacked when people tell you you’re wrong.

It is difficult to change someone’s mind if they are convinced they are 100% correct.

Because that means going from 100% right, to being 100% wrong.

That’s a huge shift needed:

It’s turning an enormous tanker, not a sailboat.

And there are also several ‘bias’ behaviours at play, which impact how we view information and the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ views we take.

• Confirmation bias: We look for, interpret, favour, and recall information in a way that confirms our view. This bias can lead us to dismiss or undervalue information that contradicts that belief, It influences our decision-making and problem-solving processes

A good example is with politics. People with strong political beliefs may look for, and give more weight to, information that supports their views while dismissing or downplaying information that challenges them. In both cases, confirmation bias can lead to a distorted perception of reality and hinder our ability to see alternative perspectives or new information.

Does any of that sound familiar?

• “Resulting”: Our tendency to equate the quality of a decision with the quality of its outcome. rather than the quality of the decision-making process itself. It prevents us from scrutinising the quality of our decisions, and how ‘luck’ could have played a part. So, we have a good outcome ( we win a tender) it must have been down to good decisions. We have a bad outcome ( we lose the tender) its down to bad luckor something outside of our control. It’s not down to us, or our decisions. We rarely attribute our good wins, as due to luck Or, our bad outcomes to our poor skills.
  

• Hindsight bias: Our tendency to see an outcome as inevitable after an outcome is known. It seems obvious after the fact.
  

• Blind-spot bias: People are better at recognising biased reasoning in others but are blind to bias in themselves. And, the smarter you are, the stronger this bias is (particularly people good at maths!), This is because you’re more likely to look for , and find information that ‘proves you right’.

It’s also interesting to note, that when you see conspiracy theories and ‘fake news’, it’s not designed to get you to change your mind.

It’s designed to further entrench your beliefs, providing info that confirms your existing beliefs.

• Loss aversion: Losses hurt more than gains feel good ( by a factor of 2!) E.g., winning $100 at poker feels as good, as losing $50 feels bad. The same applies to being right and wrong. Being wrong hurts twice as bad, as being right feels good. Unless, that is, you reframe your relationship with being wrong.

Here’s how to reframe your relationship with being wrong:

There’s never a 100% probability of any outcome.

(Unless it would be ‘there’s rain in Manchester’….😂)

Annie Duke’s book, Thinking In Bets, gives an excellent explanation. If we look at our outcomes as statistical probabilities we can recognise that there is an x% chance of it going right, and y% of it going wrong. Even with the same decision.

Let me give you an example.

You drive to a party. You hadn’t intended on drinking alcohol, but you get caught up in the celebrations, and before you know it you’ve had three glasses.

You can make the decision to drive home, or get a taxi.

The right decision is to get a taxi ( no drink driving here).

On the way home, the taxi is hit by another car (no one is injured, it’s OK!)

Does this make it the wrong decision, or, the right decision with an outcome you didn’t want?

Regardless of the outcome, driving home after drinking is never the right decision.

Let’s look at that in a work context.

You work in sales. You submit a tender for a huge contract, and you lose out by a small margin, to a main competitor.

You possibly (hopefully) review what you did wrong.

But then, you may put their success down to good luck.

Or, try and look at what they did right, so you can learn.

Both scenarios are good.

But what we tend NOT to do, is also look at what went right.

What if it was down to luck?

How do you ‘practically’ apply this?

When making a decision based on information you have, what is the % chance of it being right?

Assign a % probability to it. Let’s say 70%.

Being wrong, when you are only 70% certain you’re right, is not as big a shift. Because you have accepted the idea there's a chance you’re wrong.

It’s therefore much easier to change your view and accept new information.

Dealing with the People!

How do you translate this to a work situation, that avoids any confrontation or defensiveness? That person who won’t accept they may be wrong.

Saying ‘You’re wrong’ to someone may feel good, but it won’t get you anywhere.

Now we understand the principles and biases at work, we can adopt a framework that recognises them. Try one, or several, of these approaches.

Acknowledge Uncertainty: Acknowledge the uncertainty inherent in decision-making. Express openness to the possibility that both perspectives may have elements of uncertainty. For example, "I recognise that there's uncertainty here, let’s explore different viewpoints to make the best decision."

Highlight Shared Goals: Emphasise shared goals and the mutual interest in making the best decision for the team or project. This shift’s the focus from the individual’s viewpoint, to collective outcomes. This removes the ‘feeling personal‘ element.

For instance, "We both want what's best for the project. Let's work together to find the most effective approach."

Use Probabilistic Language: Frame the conversation to convey that decisions are based on probabilities rather than certainties. For example, "It seems like there are different probabilities to consider in this situation. Let's discuss the potential outcomes of each approach."

Encourage Information Sharing: Highlighting the value of considering diverse viewpoints. For example, "considering a range of perspectives can help us make a more informed decision. What are your thoughts on this?"

Discuss Decision Quality: Shift the focus from being "right" or "wrong" to evaluating the quality of the decision-making process. For example, "Let's focus on the quality of our decision-making process rather than proving one viewpoint right or wrong."

Emphasise Learning and Adaptation: Highlight the value of learning from different perspectives and being open to change based on new information. For example, "There’s real value in learning learning from each other's viewpoints, and being open to changing our minds as we get more information and learn more."

I’m taking time off over Christmas, so will be back, ready and raring to go in the New Year. I have about 1 meter of books waiting to be read. So that’s me sorted.

I want to say thank you so much for the support, comments and encouragement you have shown me.

It makes my journey a total joy.

Wishing you and your families a happy, peaceful and joyful Christmas and New Year, Lesley x

Please don’t hesitate to forward this, to help others learn.

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Action for the week!

Want to have a practice?
Look and listen out, for one of the biases at play.

Try one of the strategies on the framework.

The more you practice the easier it feels, and you can develop some go - to phrases of your own.

Extra resources

Additional resources you may want to check out.

Ive recommended this book before, and it’s still worth a read if you haven’t already.

Here’s an Amazon ( affiliate) link so you can see what it's like, but I’d prefer it if you ordered from your local bookshop. May not be as quick, but a better soul-feeding activity.

Music to get you ready for the weekend!

A mega playlist of supersonic tracks, to get you in the mood for the weekend.

Its the season, so I had to go with one of my favourite Christmas songs. It’s not played often, and I think it’s better than the original. Singalong!

Other ways I can help:

1. 1:1 coaching to help you develop the leadership skills you need to take your career to the next level. Let’s have a chat. Calendly link here.
   

2. Micro-coaching : a single coaching session to help you overcome that one blocker or key issue you're facing. Details in the link here.
   

3. FREE RESOURCES Interview Mastery training: to master confidence at that BIG event. It could be an interview, public speaking, or that pitch. Make sure that the very best version of you shows up to that interview. Link here.