The Leadership Programme.

If you want to be a better leader you’re in the right place, welcome!

Delivered every Friday and is a minestrone soup of tips, techniques, learnings and thoughts, & the odd disaster, based on my 25+ years of managing teams.

Read time: 3.475804826490minutes

Good feedback, delivered appropriately, is rocket fuel for good performance.

And it’s only good feedback if the person receiving can act on it.

Ever seen someone use feedback as an opportunity to vent? They want to give the illusion of professionalism to an otherwise critical remark.
And I’ve received a few of those in my time:

Unactionable.

So what do I mean when I say feedback?

There’s two types:

• positive - to reaffirm behaviour we want to encourage:when we say well done for a great piece of work

• constructive - when directed at behaviours or actions that we don’t want: they delivered it late, again, and it had negative consequences.

Some call this ‘negative’ or ‘critical’ feedback.
And that’s part of the problem.

The words we use are value-laden. They can put the receiver straight on the defensive. It’s seen as ‘negative’ rather than helping someone.

If you’re giving ‘negative’ or ‘critical’ feedback‘ then that’s probably how you will deliver it.

And how they will receive it.

We know feedback is good: it helps us learn and grow.
What happens if you reframe it as ‘constructive’?

Worrying about what to say, shouldn’t stop you.

Like anything, you improve with practice. I cringe at how I handled giving feedback in the past: I just came right out with it. Embarrassing for me, deflating for them. The opposite of what we want.
Now, Ive learned.

• You can soften delivery, and still be clear.

• You can show empathy, and still be direct.

There’s one golden rule of feedback: praise in public, and have difficult conversations in private.

Use my framework to remove the uncertainty, and help you, and them grow.

1. Start with a question, not a statement.

It encourages

• self-assessment

• reflection

• ownership.

Go for dialogue, not monologue. It moves the conversation from providing advice ( on how you would do it, or how you think they should do it), to coaching. Coaching is a more effective way of learning
Your opening, could start with:

Continue the questions, until they get a solution that works to address the problem. And here’s a golden ticket. The power question you can use when this opening may not be appropriate. For example, a team member is using a system incorrectly, you know a quick fix.

You are asking permission, to give the feedback. The receiver is more open to hearing. This has never failed me. Ever.
Well, apart from with my teenage daughter 😶.

Work through the challenge until you have an action / action plan.

2. Be understood.

Don’t be vague to avoid hurt feelings.
This often happens when managers are uncomfortable at the thought of upsetting that team member.
Or, with new managers not sure what to say.

Remember that clear feedback, is kind feedback.

Don’t sugarcoat it, to make it easier for you.
Always check that feedback has been understood in the way you intended. In other words, their action plan should directly address the issue.

3. Don’t linger.

Be quick with praise: great work needs recognition.
Be quick to correct: accept there will never be a ‘right time’.

Don't leave them dangling., wondering what’s going to happen.
You’ve developed an action plan, or actions, and problems need support.

Get agreement on actions then remember to follow it up.

4. Future-think.

“Don’t offer solutions, offer routes through”.

You have the opportunity to see how will things in the future be different.
Discuss the positive future outcomes.

It leaves the recipient in a positive frame of mind.

5. Be objective and specific.

Focus on behaviour and action with observable facts, not rumour or guesswork.
You also need consistency in how you apply your feedback.

I’ve read a lot of advice that suggests “say how their action makes you feel”

“You did [x] and it made me feel [y]”

And there are several big flaws in that approach.

• It’s not objective. Your feelings aren’t. They are simply your feelings.

• You shouldn’t let others control how you feel, because you sure as heck can’t control how they feel.

• You can’t ACT on someone else’s feelings. The recipient needs to know that they have done what’s required.

• Making them feel bad, doesn’t help with the corrective behaviour/ actions. Trying to guilt-trip someone is emotional blackmail at best, and gaslighting at worst.

A better approach:

“You did [x] and the outcome was [y]”

“When the submission was late, we missed the deadline, and our bid was excluded from the process.”

There’s a world of difference.

I’d love to know how you handle giving feedback, and what other approaches you use.

Please don’t hesitate to forward this, to help others learn.

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Action for the week!

Want to have a practice?
Think over the last time you gave feedback.
Was it advice, cunningly disguised as feedback?
Was it objective, and actionable?
Do you normally use a coaching approach to providing feedback? If not give it a go.

Music to get you ready for the weekend!

A mega playlist of supersonic tracks, to get you in the mood for the weekend.
I’m not normally into this type of music, but it sounds like summer. And as summer is practically here, why not?

Other ways I can help:

1. Confidence ever need a boost? My Confidence Build mini masterclass may be exactly what you need. Simple, actionable techniques that have instant impact. Get more details here.

2. 1:1 coaching to help you develop your leadership skills to their full potential. Most important ? Get a high-performing team, without the burnout. Let’s have a chat. Calendly link here.

3. FREE RESOURCES Interview Mastery training: to master confidence at that BIG event. It could be an interview, public speaking, or that pitch. Make sure that the very best version of you shows up to that interview. Link here.